People Share The Best Insults Their Toddlers Have Come Up With And They Are Brutal
By Mark PygasUpdated Nov. 18 2019, 2:16 p.m. ET
Children can be absolutely savage. If you have ever heard the phrase "Kids say the darnedest things," you know that it's entirely accurate. They have no filter at all, and will not hesitate to tell you exactly how it is. Sometimes though, they really come up with the strangest insults. Chalk it up to their newness in speaking english, or maybe just their lack of caring, but their responses can be quite puzzling.
Twitter user Angela Davis recently took to social media after her toddler had a tantrum because she couldn't play with the cellphone. The meltdown ended with a brutal insult, and after the tweet went viral, parents quickly started sharing their own stories of toddlers spewing out the funniest stuff.
It all started with the gem mentioned above.
Toddler insults are just...whew. She hurts my feelings low key. 😂 Today's tantrum ended with "AND I DON'T LIKE YOUR BRAIDS!"
— Angela Davis (@TheKitchenista) November 16, 2017And soon enough, people were sharing their own stories.
my 3yr old nephew was at my house. I asked him where his mom was. He said “she’s at work”. I asked where does she work, he said straight faced “at her job”. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
— Lindsay St. Repper (@DaGlue) November 16, 2017when my daughter was 3, she was playing hide & seek with my pops. He stopped playing & she got upset...with her arms folded she yelled “I don’t know why Nana married you anyway” he replied “because she loves me” she says “You don’t know that!” 🤦🏾♂️
— Alternative Hairline (@walkerk23) November 16, 2017Little cousin: didn’t you just have a baby
Me: yes
Him: so why your stomach still big?
Me: pic.twitter.com/QLOin4YRGj
Me, while cooking: "Ugh! Curry get every dang where!"
Nephew: Your shirt?
Me: "looks at curry stained shirt' Yep!
Nephew: "Your teeth too?"
Me: pic.twitter.com/82HFTZ1waz
I usually watch super hero movies with my nephew. I asked him to see Thor and he told me "Aunty, I think it's time you get your own friends." 💔
— 🍂🍁 (@__Roshanda) November 16, 2017I was messing with one of my youngest nieces once like "haha, that's why you have to go to school tomorrow" and she hit me with "haha, that's why you gotta go to work tomorrow." Killed me.
— Demarcus Robinson (@DOCisChief) November 16, 2017My three year old told me I had a puffy butt and will point out a blemish, every blemish, in a hot minute
— summer (@PolitikMasFina) November 16, 2017I was just telling someone the other day about how she almost made me cry when she said, “I don’t like her,” right in front of me like I wasn’t there. 😭💔
— Bettina Judd (@bettinajudd) November 16, 2017My husband told my niece to stop picking on her sister. She whispered in his ear "I don't love you. I don't even *like* you." 👀👀👀👀👀
— Bridge (@bbrbb) November 16, 2017I moved interstate to be closer to my family, and my nephew told me recently "Things were better before you were here."
Oof.
— plain old stripes (@burgotastic) November 16, 2017Bruh they are ruthless. Mine told me “I want my aunt, because at least she loves me” all because I told her it was bed time
— chronicles_of_xtina (@ChroniclesXtina) November 16, 2017My daughter- ummm ...we can’t be friends. Age 6 😳
— Nancy Elizabeth (@MsNancyNCali) November 16, 2017A five year old I was babysitting once told me, “Nobody likes you and your whole life is weird”
😭
...she wasn’t really wrong about my life though 🤷🏻♂️
— sam kelly (@heysamkelly) November 17, 2017Me to 14yo: Man, my the time I move back, you'll be in college. I'm gonna be so old.
5yo to me: By the time I'm in college you'll be REALLY old!
Me. 😩😩
Son to his teacher: you should fix your teeth with this bag
Son: hands teacher his lunch bag.....let this one sink in for a minute folks!
— Fly on da wall (@Blackcellz716) November 16, 2017My 4 year old cousin was pestering me a lot and making me chase her so I told her she was stressing me and when she's grown, her little cousins would stress her too and she goes "I won't be fat so I won't be stressed"😭😭😭😭 It hurt!
— Tomilola Aiyepola (@Mz_Tomiiee) November 17, 2017Me to 14yo: Man, my the time I move back, you'll be in college. I'm gonna be so old.
5yo to me: By the time I'm in college you'll be REALLY old!
Me. 😩😩
[1997]
My 7 y/o nephew: How old are you?
Me: 20
Nephew: You’re not a teenager?
Me: No
Nephew: Why do you have so many pimples? pic.twitter.com/I5jSRTCGif
— José (@josecanyousee) November 18, 2017Me: Let's go.
6yo: You not gon do your hair?
Me: My hair is done.
6yo: ..... ok.
A kid cried hysterically after she was told that she looks like my friend. We then had to comfort the kid by saying "you don't look like her, we were joking". My friend didn't know how to feel after that. 😟😔
— Mutondwa ◽ (@ShonaniMakhale) November 17, 2017My partner joked with my nephew ‘I’m like the Hulk, you won’t like me when I’m angry’ My nephew responded in a heartbeat. ‘I don’t like you anyway’ 😂😂
— Yvonne (@yvonnecharrison) November 18, 2017I shaved my head and asked my 4yo if she still thought I was beautiful. Her: well...I think hats are pretty. Maybe you could wear one.
— Crystal Stephens (@cfairstephens) November 18, 2017When my grand-niece was 2-3 she would terrorize us on face time. She always asked why we look so bad!. Got to point my sister (her grandma) would not answer her call if she wasn't fully made up. I made sure I was fixed up also. 😂😂
— Yvette M (@MacpYvette) November 16, 2017Tried putting some of my face moisturizer on my 3 yr old's chapped cheeks; he pulled away and said " I don't have dents!" I laughed and asked if I did and he pointed to my crow's feet
— Barret Stump (@stump_barret) November 18, 2017Well, those were savage.
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